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One test 745 points Tsinghua University, 10 tips for Chinese parents, know that the sooner the child is, the better

AfriendChen,whohasbeenaclassteacherfornearly20years,sentadozenorsosessionstoGuanggao.AfterthecollegeentranceexaminationonJune8th,Iaskedhim:"HowmanyTsinghuaUniversitystudentscanyouhaveinyourclassthisyear?"LaoChenshookhistwofingersandsmiledandsaid:"Atleasttwo!"Iridiculedandsaid:"Soconfident?IsitagoodideatoknowwhocanqualifyforTsinghuaUniversity?"LaoChensmiled:"Infact,thesechildrenwhocanbeadmittedtoagooduniversityarereallyabitclever,butifyoujustrelyonthispointofintelligence,youcan'tgettothecurrentlevel.Theygenerallyhavetheirownsetofhabitsandmethodsofstudy,andeventheirviewsonlearningarecompletelydifferentfromthoseofordinarystudents!Youcan'ttakeit.”ThefollowingisasharingoftheboysintheoldChenclasswhohavebeenadmittedtoTsinghuaUniversitytotheschoolmates.IfeelthatIhavebenefitedalotfromreadingthem.Ifyouhavechildreninyourschoolwhoareattendingelementaryschool,itisbettertolookatitbecausemanyimportanthabitsandmentalitymustbecultivatedfromelementaryschool.01,handwritingThebadhandisverylikelytomakethechildmissthehighschool,nottomentiontheuniversity.Nowadays,moreandmoreexamsarepopularizing“e-volumemarking”.Thecollegeentranceexaminationandtheseniorhighschoolentranceexaminationarealllikethis.Insomeplaces,eventhesmallexamshavebeguntobeimplemented.Butdon'tthinkthattherequirementsof"electronicscoring"forwritingarereduced.Onthecontrary,therequirementsarestricter.Ifthechildwritesirregularlyfromtimetotimeanddoesnotpracticewell,thenhisanswersheetisalmostblurredwhenhescansintothecomputerthroughthescanner.Thescoringteachercan'tevenseeit,whatdoyougiveme?Therefore,sinceyouwereachild,youshouldpracticeyourwordswell.Thebeautifulandstandardizedwritingwillnotonlymaketherollsurfaceneatandtidy,butalsospeedupthewritingspeed,sothatyoucangainanadvantageintheexaminationssuchastheseniorhighschoolentranceexaminationandthecollegeentranceexamination.Nottobeabletoanswer.02,delay99%ofchildrenwithpoorgradesareprocrastination!Thingsthatcanbedraggedtotomorrowwilldefinitelynotbedonetoday;ifyoucanplayfirstduringtheholidays,youwillneverwritehomeworkfirst.Thedownsideofprocrastinationisthatonceyoudevelopthishabit,notonlywillyoulearntodragon,butyourlifewillbecomeawkward.So,howisthechild'sprocrastinationusuallyinfected?Austrianpsychologist,AlfredAdler,inthebook"Children'sPersonalityEducation":“Afterachildwithprocrastination,thereisalwaysamotherwhohasnothingtodowithit.”Infact,therearemanysmallthingsthatarethechild'sduty,whichcanbedoneindependently,suchaseating,dressing,andwiping.Whenparentsoverwork,thechildrenarelessactive.Therefore,thefirststepinchangingachild'sdelayistoproperly"kick"thechildandlearntodoityourself.03,timeThemoretimeyouspendonlearning,thebetteryourgradeswillbe?Thismaynotbe!Althoughsomechildrenseemtoworkhard,theydon'tgoouttoplayduringclass,andtheywritehomeworkathomeonweekends.Buthedoesn'tconcentratemostofthetime,just"wearingtheocean"inapurposelessandheart-wrenchingmanner.Amedium-sizedstudentinaclassof30%~40%isbasicallyinthisstate.Somechildrenneverstayuplate,andthetimeofplayingisalsocrazy,butwhentheyarelearning,theycanmakeaplaninadvance,knowwhattasksareintotal,andarrangewhattodofirstandthendowhat.About10%ofthetopstudentsinaclassareinthisstate.Therefore,itisnotthechild'slearningtimethatdeterminesthegrade,butwhetherthesetimesare"effective"andwhethertheycanconcentrate.04,EnglishandChineseEnglishandChineseareverysimilartothetwodisciplines.Thechildrenwhoareinterestedcanfindthatthe"literarylanguage"intheChineselanguageandthe"readingcomprehension"inEnglisharethesamefeeling:Allneedtocheckthewords,allneedtoanalyzethegrammar,andallneedtojudgethesentence...Themoststupidbutmosteffectivewaytolearnthislanguageistoreaditaloud!Becausethetexthasacompletestorylineandcontext,itcanhelpyouremembernewwordsquickly.Inaddition,whenyouarefamiliarwiththetext,somebasicsentencesareprintedinyourmind.Whenyoudosimilarquestionsnexttime,youcanguessthesamefeelings.05,mathematicsHowtolearnmath?Accuratecomputingpoweristhefoundation,andchildrenmustbetrainedinprimaryschool.Bythetimeofjuniorhighschoolandhighschool,thestepsofthetopichavebecomemoreandmore,andtheyareallrelatedtoeachother.Iftheresultsarewronginthefirstfewsteps,itwillbewronginanycase.Itisnecessarytosortoutthewrongquestions.Theknowledgepointsandquestionsinmathematicsarerelativelylimitedandmustberepeated.Aslongasyoucanguaranteethatthequestionsyouhavemadethistimewillnotgowrongnexttime,thereisnoproblem.06,carelessThereareoftenstudentswhohavebeentestedandsaid,"Ihaveforgottenthisknowledgepoint,carelessandcareless..."Ishereallycareless?No,heisthatthisknowledgepointisnotwellmastered,andthefoundationisnotsolid.Theso-called"careless"and"sloppy"ismoreanexcuseforself-comfort.Careful,calm,anddown-to-earthisamust-havepsychologicalqualityforagoodstudent.Atthetimeofthecollegeentranceexamination,asmallmathematicsmultiplechoicequestionis5points.Ifyouarecarelessandcareless,10pointswillbegone,andtherankingintheprovincemaybeseveralthousandbehind!Atthistime,youwillcomfortyourselfwith"carelessness"anduseit?07,startingline"Letthechildwinatthestartingl
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15
2019-05

Interpersonal communication: don't do these 4 things in front of your child

发布时间 : 2019-05--15 点击量 : 0
Itissaidthatparentsarethechildren'sfirstteachers.Itcanbeseenthattheparents'everymoveisthebenchmarkforchildren'sfuturestudy.Itisanexampleforchildrentolearn.Itcanbeseenthatthebehaviorofparentsisveryimportanttochildren,buttherearestillmanyparentswhoareoftenawareofIfyoudon'tdothis,youstilldowhatyouwant,andyoudon'tavoidyourwordsanddeeds.Thisalsohurtsyourchildinvisibly.Sosomethingsarebig...Thefamilymuststopinfrontofthechild,otherwisethechildwillbedestroyed.Doingthesefourthingsinfrontofyourchildwillaffectyourchild'slife!1.FreelyventyouremotionsinfrontofyourchildAfamilywillinevitablyhavealotofembarrassment,butasaparent,wemusthaveadegree,especiallyinfrontofthechildtocurbtheirbehavior,especiallysomeparentsoftenfallinfrontofthechild'sface,thiskindofradicalItiseasytoscarethebabyandmakehismoodeasyandviolent.Inthelongrun,thechild'spersonalitywillbedistorted,whichisnotconducivetothebaby'sgrowth.2,complainfreelyinfrontofthechildParentsareusuallyatallimageintheirchildren'sminds.Theyoftenthinkthatparentsaregreatandomnipotent,butifparents'complaintsreachthechild'sears,itwilltakealongtimetomakethechildnegative.Atthesametime,astheageincreases,thechildfeelsthepressureisrelativelylarge,whichhasasenseoffearforthesociety,soparentsshouldcomplainlessinfrontofthechild.3.ArguinginfrontofthechildQuarrelscanbesaidtobeacommonphenomenoninparents'lives,butifparentswithchildrenathomemustavoidchildren,becausetheviolenceinfrontofthechildrenorevenhands-on,thiskindofviolencewillmakethechildfeelinsecure,makingthechildBecometimid,especiallyinthefuturelifeisnotconducivetofriendlycontactwiththepeoplearound.4,excessiveloveofchildrenManyparentswillregardtheirchildrenasthejeweloftheireyes.Thecarefortheirchildrencanbesaidtobethebestwaytoopentheirmouths.Evenifthechildhasreachedtheageofhisownhands,thispracticewillnotchange.Thisexcessiveloveisverygreatforchildren.Itisnotconducivetothecultivationofchildren'sindependentcharacter,whichmakeschildren'ssenseofindependenceandindependenceveryweak.Oncetheygotothesociety,theywillbeeliminated.Thisshowsthatasubtlemovementoftheparentswillhaveahugeimpactonthechildren.Sincetheparentsarethefirstteachersofthechildren,thenwemustdowhattheteachershoulddo,andthethoughtsandactionsofthechildrenatthefrontendarestrict.Askyourselftocultivateyourchild'scorrectandgoodhabitsfromanearlyage,otherwisethechildwillregretwhenhegrowsup.
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16
2019-05

Do you understand "experience learning"? How to make children experience learning in life?

发布时间 : 2019-05--16 点击量 : 0
ProfessorB.JosephPineoftheMassachusettsInstituteofTechnologyintheUnitedStatespointedoutinhisbook"ExperienceEconomy":wecanlearn10%oftheinformationweread;wecanlearn15%oftheinformationwehear.Butwehavelearned80%ofwhatwehaveexperienced.Theimportanceof“experience”intheprocessofindividuallearningcanbeseen.ExperientiallearningtheoryExperiencelearningcomesfromtheEnglish“Experientiallearning”,alsoknownasempiricallearning,discoveryofreflectivelearning,activitylearningorinteractivelearning.WiththeadventofHarvardUniversityProfessorKolb'sexperientiallearningtheory,experientiallearningiswidelyusedineducation.Kolbbelievesthatlearningisaprocessofmovingfromknowntonewknowledgethroughtheunderstandingandtranscendenceofsomedirectexperience.Itisaprocessofintegrationandintegrationofexperience,perception,cognitionandbehavior.Experiencelearningtheorybelievesthatexperienceisthefundamentalsourceandmaterialbasisforpeople'smentaldevelopment,knowledgecreationandlearningdevelopmentprocess.Ourcurrentyoungpeoplearebusylearningbookknowledge.Theirnaturalexperience,socialexperienceandlifeexperienceareseriouslyinadequate.Theopportunitiesfordirectlypayingattentiontosociety,natureandculturearedecreasing.Instead,theyareindirectlyobtainedthroughwords,symbolsandimages.Theincreaseinexperience,inthisway,theknowledgethatothershavecompiledisjustlikethechewingoffoodthatothershavechewedisnotconducivetothedevelopmentofchewinganddigestivepower,whichwillcausedefectsinthespiritualgrowthofyoungpeople.Modernteenagerswhoare"lackoflifeexperience"generallyhavethephenomenonofnotdoinghousework,notgoodcooperation,notbeingpolite,notkeepingorder,notcaringfortheenvironment,psychologicallyfragile,andself-control.Inparticular,withthedeclineoffamilyandsocialeducationfunctions,problemssuchasautonomy,coordination,responsibility,endurance,andinterpersonalrelationshipshaveemergedduetothefailuretoexperienceafulllifeexperience.AfreshmanfromXi'anUniversityofTechnologysuddenlylosthisnoseandwasoverwhelmedbythenose.Hecalledforhelpfromhismotherlateatnight.AprospectivecollegestudentinShenyangwasadmittedtoChongqingUniversitywithexcellentcollegeentranceexaminationresults.However,duetopoorself-careabilityandlackofconfidenceinindependentliving,hehadtogiveuptheopportunitytostudyatthebeginningoftheschoolyearandchoosetoretaketheuniversityinthenextyear.AfreshmanfromBeijingUniversityofScienceandTechnology,becausehisparentsdidnotcome,wouldnothangmosquitonets,tidyupthefloorandcryinthedormitory.Collegestudentscan'tstartwithwhiteboiledeggs,becausetheyaregiventotheirparentsathome.Thecollegestudentspacktheirdirtyclothesandsendthemhomeeveryweektolettheparentswash...Thesefactualreports,whichlooklikemodernjokes,alsotellfromonesidetheabilitiesoftheprincesoftheheavens,andthethingstheyusuallyexperiencearetoofew.Adviceonthechild'slifeexperience1,travelexperienceMilesRoadisagreatlifeexperienceforchildren.(1)Beforedeparture:thecollectionofthedestinationstrategy,theplanningoftheroute,canletthechildrenparticipate.Baggagepreparation:includingdailynecessities,drinkingglasses,clothes,toiletries,etc.;learningentertainmentsupplies,books,diaries,headphones,etc.;andtraveldocuments,suchasIDcards,passports,etc.,canallowchildrentopreparetheirownpackages,carrythem,Iamresponsible.Parentscanonlypointandguidefromthemiddle(IDcard,passportparentscanbemanagedontheirbehalf),parentsshouldnotreplacethechildren'saffairs.(2)Duringthetravelitinerary:Ifyouencounterproblems,youcanalsoletyourchildactivelybrainstormandfindwaystohelpthefamilysolveproblemstogether.Thechildren'sitemsallowhimtoorganizeandcleanup,butparentscanremindthemattheside,suchascheckingtheitemsbeforeeachstationtoavoidmissing.(3)Travelback,domorereflectionandsummary.Seewherethechildrenaredeficientandcanimprovetheirworkouts.2.TheexperienceoffieldworkBringchildrentothefields,helpwithwatering,fertilizing,weedingtogether;diggingsweetpotatoesandpeanutstogether,pickingcricketsandmulberriestogether...Fromwhichchildrencanexperiencewhatseasonstheyneedtosow,whatkindoffruitcanbeharvestedinanyseason,plantWhichpartisedible.Gainingthroughyourownlaborcanenhanceyourchild'sloveoflifeandnature.3.InviteyourfriendstoplaytogetherAfter70and80,today'sparents,whentheywereyoung,oftendancedwithrubberbands,playinghopscotch,rehearsingessaystogether...sometimessleepinginasmallpartner'shouse.Thechildrenarenowmuchmorelonely.Theyarealwayskepttightlywatchedbytheirparents.Mostofthetimeisspentinvariousclasses.Parentsshouldinvitetheirclassmatesorsmallfriendstoplayathome;orseveralfamiliesshouldmakeanappointmenttogotonearbyparksandmuseumstoletthechildrenexperiencesharingandcooperation,orquarrelsanddebates,intherelationshipwiththeirpartners.Itisthewealthofthechild'sgrowth.Howtopromoteandprotecttherichlifeexperienceofyoungpeopleisthekeytotheirhealthygrowth.Thisisnotonlyaproblemthatparentsmustface,butalsoasubjectthatneedsreflectioninthefieldofeducation.
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23
2019-05

How to cultivate children's self-esteem

发布时间 : 2019-05--23 点击量 : 0
Self-esteemreferstoaperson'sself-worthorself-image,whichisanoverallevaluationoftheindividual.Highself-esteempeoplehaveagoodsenseofself-worthandapositiveself-image,andpeoplewithlowself-esteemhavealowself-worthandanegativeself-image.Self-esteemplaysanimportantroleinthegrowthofchildrenandistheinternalmotivationforchildren'sself-improvement.Achildwithhighself-esteemisfullofconfidenceinherabilityandvalue.Sheisoptimisticaboutlearningandliving,andexperiencesthejoyofsuccess.Onthecontrary,achildwithlowself-esteemalwaystendstodenyhisabilityandvalue,lacksthemotivationtobeaggressive,andispronetoemotionalexperienceofinferiority,helplessnessandanxiety,whichhasmanynegativeeffectsonthedevelopmentofmindandbody.Children'sself-esteemisgraduallyestablishedindailylife.Theattitudesandwaysofparentstreatingchildrenhaveanimportantimpactontheformationofchildren'sself-esteem.Therefore,infamilyeducation,parentsshouldunderstandandrespectchildrenontheonehand,carefullycareforthechild'stenderandsensitivemind,protectthechild'sself-esteemandprotectitfromharm;ontheotherhand,parentsshouldadoptappropriateeducationalmethodsandgraduallycultivateChildren'sself-esteem.First,parentsshouldacceptchildren.Acceptingchildrenrequiresparentstoaffirmthechild'sstrengthsandachievements,aswellastoacceptthechild'sshortcomingsanddeficiencies.Onlywhenthechildisaffirmed,acceptedandrecognizedbytheparents,andissurethattheparentstrulylovehimwillgainasenseofsecurityandthuslayagoodfoundationforbuildingself-esteem.WhenVinyWright,thedaughteroftheAmericaneducatorMrs.Sterna,wasfiveyearsold,shewasalreadyaveryassertivechild.Oneday,theywentonanoutingwithsomefriends.Becauseitwasspring,everyoneworearelaxedspringdress,butVinyWrighthadtowearhergreencoatbecauseshethoughtthegreencoatlookedgood.Mrs.Stenasaidtoherdaughter:"Itisnotwinternow,theweatherishot.Ifyougooutinacoat,itwillbeverydifficult."Butthedaughterinsistedonherownopinion.Attheplaceofplay,theotherchildrenworelightclothes,andonlyVenefitwaswearingathickcoatandsweatinghot.Shenoticedthatotherchildrenwerelookingatherwithstrangeeyes,soshewantedtofindanexcusetoleave.Atthistime,Mrs.Stenatookoutthespringclothesshehadpreparedforherdaughter.Shesavedherself-esteembysavingherdaughterfromhershackleswithoutrevealinghertraces.Inthisregard,Mrs.Stenasaid:"Ifyoudon'tbringyourdaughteraspringoutfitthatday,letherendurethediscomfortcausedbybeingtoothick,andthestrangevisionofotherchildren,orinfrontofeveryone.Laughingather,itwilldefinitelyhurtherself-esteem."Onthecontrary,ifparentsdonotacceptchildren,itwillhurtthechild'sself-respect.Thethree-year-oldYueYueandafewfour-year-oldchildrenplaythegameof"race"together.Becausetheyareyounger,theyalwaysfallbehind.Despitethis,hedidn'tcare,andhestillhadagoodtimewithhisfriends.Butthemoreandmoremotherlookedangryattheside,shebegantomarryherson:"Howdoyoubesostupid,alwaysrunawayfromothers."Shesquattedandglaredathim.ThemoreandmorereluctantlyIburstintotears.Themoreandmoremothersdidnotrealizethatthesonandthesmallpartnerraced,didnotcareabouttheoutcomeofthegame,butenjoyedthejoyofthegame;shedidnotrealizethatitwasnothissonwhowasstupidtorunattheend,andItisbecausehisageissmallerthanotherchildren;shedoesnotevenrealizethatsheisscoldinghersonbecauseshecan'tacceptthefactthathersonisrunningintheend,hurtinghisself-esteem.Second,parentsshouldencouragetheirchildrentotryboldlyandexperiencesuccessindoingthings.Ifchildrencandothingsindependentlyandcontinuetoexperiencesuccessintheprocessofdoingthings,theywillbeconvincedoftheirabilityandformapositiveself-evaluationtoimprovetheirself-esteem.Therefore,parentsshouldletgoattherighttimeandletthechildrendothingsindependently.Ifparentsdoeverything,itwillnotonlymakechildrendeveloplazyhabits,butalsomakechildrendoubttheirability,thusaffectingtheformationofself-esteem.Itisneithertoodifficultnortooeasyforparentstolettheirchildrendo.Thedifficultylevelshouldbeachievedbythechildthroughhardwork.ThefamouseducatorChenHeqinaskedhissontosendalettertohisteacherwhenhissonwastwoyearsoldandelevenmonthsold.(Theplacewheretheteacherlived,twohundredyardsawayfromtheirhome),ChenHeqinfarawayLookingattheback.Atfirst,IknockedonthefrontdoorofMr.,butbecausetherewasnopromise,Iheardit.ChenHeqinsawhimcomingbackandranovertohimandsaid,"Gotothebackdoor."Hewenttothebackdoor.WhenIsawapersonathome,Igavethislettertohim.Inthisregard,ChenHeqinsaid:"Ifthethingsdonearetooeasy,thenthechildrenarenothappytodoit,thesecondisnotenterprising,andthethirdisthattheparentslookdownonhimandaskhimtodosuchaneasything,IamafraidNothappy;onthecontrary,theparentstoldhimtodothingsthatweretoodifficult,thenthechildrenwereafraidtodoit,andthesecondthoughtthattheparentsabusedhimandtoldhimtodosuchadifficultthing,andhewouldhatehisparentsinthefuture.Therefore,itisnottooeasyforaparenttocallachildtodothings.Itisnottoodifficult.Whenhecandowhathecan,heiscalledtodoit."Mysonlikestowatchmecooksincechildhood.Whenhewastwoorthreeyearsold,whenIwascooking,Iaskedhimtodosomesimplethingsforme,suchaspeelinggarlicandstirringeggliquid.Whenhewasfourorfiveyearsold,Iaskedhimtodosom
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01
2019-06

Children need to be "seen", not "praised"!

发布时间 : 2019-06--01 点击量 : 0
InChinesefamilies,controlcanbeseeneverywhere.Andappearinmanyforms,criticism,accusation,praise.Iamgoodforyou,youareallofmymother.........Thereisonlyonekindoftrust,Iamconcernedaboutwhatyoudo,andItrustyoutodoit.1.ChildrenwhoareoftenpraisedaremoreworriedaboutfailureStudieshavefoundthat“praising”childrenisnotalwaysgood.Someresearchershaveaskeddifferentchildrentosolvemathproblems.Aftersolvingasetofsimplequestions,theresearchersgaveeachpersonafeedback.Praisetheirintelligencetosomechildren:"Wow,youaretoosmart!"andtrustotherchildrentosaytheirefforts:"Youjustworkedveryhard."Then,theresearchersgavethechildrenamoredifficultsetofquestions..Childrenwhoarepraisedforbeingsmartwillbemoreworriedaboutfailure.Theytendtoaccomplishlessdifficulttasks.Itishardertopersistwhentheyencounterdifficulties.Theyareevenmoreanxiousandevenshowadeclineintheirlevelofself-esteem.Praisinghistalentswillactuallyhitself-esteem..Listeningtothisiscontrarytoourintuition.Butwhenyouthinkaboutit,itisinlinewithourexperience.Althoughpraiseiscomfortable,itisstillanevaluation.Ittakesthepersontotheveryhighpointandmakesthenextconclusion.This"conclusion"isterrible.Whenwearepraised,weareoftenafraidthatwewillnotbeworthyofthiskindofpraise,whichwillputalotofpressureonthis.Outofstress,wewillbemorewillingtorepeatthesamework:sinceIamdoingthisisgood,whyshouldIventuretotrymorepossibilities?Inmoreseriouscases,wesimplydonothing."Youallboastthatmyarticleiswellwritten,butIdon'tknowhowgooditis.IamafraidthatifIwriteitdown,Iwillshowit."Wegiveuptorespondtopraise.Ifyousaytoachild:"Wow,thispictureissobeautiful!"Orpraiseachildtowinthegame:"Youareasmallchessking!"Hewillbeveryhappy.Butlethimdrawapictureorthenextgame,hemaybeembarrassed.2,praiseismorecautiousthancriticismInlife,peoplealwayscan'thelpbutevaluate.Itseemsnoteasytospeakina"noevaluation"way.Theevaluationisclosetoadefinitiveexpression.Forit,youonlyacceptornotaccept,butitisdifficulttohavemorediscussionofextensibility.Ifitisarealisticexchange,itislikelytocauseacoldspot:Youhavealreadyreachedaconclusion,whatdowesay?Fromthisperspective,praiseiseveneasiertoendatopicthancriticism.Criticismcanalsorefute:YousaidthatIamnotgood,Idonotagree.Butwhataboutpraise?Therebuttalisnotappropriate,butthereisnoroomforfurtherdiscussion.Everyonetalkedwell,Isuddenlycameupwithasentence:"Ithinkeveryoneisverygood,verygood,verygood."Thiswillmaketheatmosphereofthescenecold.Tocontinuechatting,onlyignorethissentence.Learnhowtocommunicatewithout"evaluation".3Thenon-evaluatedcommunicationmethodfocusesonlyonwhatishappening,notonabstractjudgments,definitions,andembarrassment.Ateacherwhodoesnotevaluatewillaskthestudent:"Youoftendonotdohomeworkrecently,whathappened?"Anevaluativeteacherwouldsay,"Howoldhaveyoubeendoinghomeworkrecently?"Theformerisconcernedwiththedevelopmentofanevent,whilethelatterisonlyadmonishing.Inthislattercase,theteacherdidnotcareaboutthereason.Heonlycaresaboutthecharacterofthestudent,andhehasdoneit."Admitit!Youareapoorstudent."Itseemstobesuchasubtext.Cansmellaclearrejectionofthesmell.Ifyouarethischild,justbowyourheadandpleadguilty,anddon'tsayanything.Throughtheformerexpression,wewillbeclosertothetruthoftheevent.Maybethestudenthashadsometrouble,maybehehassomenewideasrecently,orheisusingthisbehaviortoconveyanattitude,orsomethingelse.Whenweadoptanon-evaluativeposition,itcreatesaspacefortheflowofthisinformation:"Let'ssay,letmeseeit,Iamcuriousaboutthesethingsyouhaveexperienced."Thisisatrust,youThereisnoneedtojustifyit.Justdescribeyourexperiencesimply.Thisiswhatwearepayingattentiontoatthemoment.3,thechildneedsonlytobeseenThroughcommunicationwithoutevaluation,wearedoingonething:describingtheexperienceitself.Thedescriptionofexperienceseemstobethesimplest,butoftenthemostpowerful.Cognitionandmutualrecognitionofthingsarefarmoreimportantthanthe“praise”givenbythethoughts.Saidtothechildwhopainted:"Thisisthemountainyoupainted,thisistheriver,ah,thereisaboatintheriver.Isthispersonfishingontheboat?Ha,youalsopaintedahatforhim!Well,youarehere.Ipaintedasunandpaintedamoonhere.Isitdayornight?"-Youarepayingattentiontothespecificprocess.Thereisnothingwrongwiththesewords,buttheywillfeelthattheyhavebeenseen.Theywillbehappytodiscusswithyouandwillbemoreinterestedincontinuing.
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05
2019-06

The difference between "recognition" and "encourage" has such a big impact on children.

发布时间 : 2019-06--05 点击量 : 0
Dearchild,nooneinthisworldlovesyoumorethanIdo!StanfordUniversity'sfamousdevelopmentpsychologistCarolDewijkhasbeenworkingwithherteamoverthepast10yearstorecognizetheimpactonchildren.Theyhavedonelong-termresearchon400fifth-gradestudentsin20schoolsinNewYork.Theresultsofthisstudyshockedtheacademiccommunity.Intheexperiment,theyletthechildrencompleteaseriesofpuzzletasksindependently.First,theresearchersonlycalledachildfromtheclassroomeachtimetoconductthefirstroundofIQtests.Thetesttopicisaverysimplepuzzle,andalmostallchildrencandotheirjobquitewell.Aftereachchildcompletesthetest,theresearcherwilltellhimthescoreandattachawordofencouragementorpraise.Theresearchersrandomlydividedthechildrenintotwogroups.ThegroupgotacomplimentaboutIQ,whichispraise.Forexample,"Youareverytalentedinpuzzles,youareverysmart."Anothergroupofchildrengetacomplimentabouthardwork,thatis,encouragement,forexample,"Youmusthaveworkedveryhard,soyouperformedverywell."Whydoyouonlygiveacompliment?Dewijkexplained:"Wewanttoseehowsensitivethechildistopraiseorencouragement.Ihadaninstinctatthetime:acomplimentisenoughtoseetheeffect."Subsequently,thechildrenparticipatedinthesecondroundofpuzzletesting.Therearetwodifferentlevelsofdifficultytotest,andtheyarefreetochoosewhichtesttotake.Oneisharder,butnewknowledgeislearnedduringthetestingprocess.Theotherisasimpletestsimilartothepreviousone.Itturnedoutthat90%ofthechildrenwhowerepraisedfortheireffortsinthefirstroundchosedifficulttasks.Mostofthechildrenwhoarepraisedfortheirintelligencechoosesimpletasks.Itcanbeseenthatchildrenwhothinktheyaresmartdonotliketofacechallenges.Whyisthisso?Intheresearchreport,Dewijkwrote:"Whenwepraisechildren,wearetellingthemthatinordertostaysmart,don'ttakerisksthatmaymakemistakes."Thisiswhatthe"smart"childrenintheexperimentdid.:Inordertokeeplookingsmart,avoidtheriskofugliness.Thenathirdroundoftestingwasconducted.Thistime,allchildrenparticipatedinthesametestandhadnochoice.Thistestisverydifficult,itisthefirstleveloftheexamquestions.Itisconceivablethatthechildrenhavefailed.Childrenwhohadpreviouslyreceiveddifferentcomplimentshadahugedifferenceintheirresponsetofailure.Childrenwhohavebeenpraisedfortheireffortshaveconsideredfailurebecausetheyarenotworkinghardenough.Dewijkrecalled:"Thesechildrenareveryinvolvedinthetestandtrytosolvetheprobleminvariousways.Severalchildrenhavetoldme:'Thisismyfavoritequiz.'"AndthosewhoarepraisedandsmartIbelievethatfailureisbecausetheyarenotsmartenough.Theyhavebeennervousduringthetest,scratchingtheirheadsandfeelingfrustrated.Inthethirdroundoftesting,theDweckteamdeliberatelyletthechildrensuffersetbacks.Next,theygavethechildrenafourthroundoftests,whichwasassimpleasthefirstround.Thechildrenwhowerepraisedfortheireffortsscoredabout30%higherthanthefirsttimeinthistest.Andthosewhoarepraisedandsmart,thistimescoredabout20%comparedwiththefirsttime.Dewijkhasalwayssuspectedthatpraisedoesnotnecessarilyhaveagoodeffectonchildren,buttheresultsofthisexperimentarestillfarbeyondherexpectations.Sheexplained:“Encourage,thatis,praisethechild’shardwork,willgivethechildafeelingthathecancontrolhimself.Thechildwillthinkthatsuccessornotisintheirownhands.Conversely,praise,thatis,praisethechild’sintelligence,istotellthemthatsuccessisnotintheirownhands.Inthisway,whentheyfacefailure,theyareoftenhelpless."Inafollow-upinterviewwiththechildren,Dweckfoundthatchildrenwhobelievethattalentisthekeytosuccessunconsciouslyvaluetheimportanceoftheirefforts.Thesechildrenwillreasonlikethis:Iamverysmart,soIdon'thavetoworkhard.Theyeventhinkthatstrivingisstupid,anditisequaltoacknowledgingthattheyarenotsmartenough.Dwijk'sexperimentwasrepeatedmanytimes.Shefoundthatnomatterwhatfamilybackgroundthechildhas,shecan'tstandthefrustrationofbeingfrustratedafterbeingpraisedandclever.Boysandgirlsarethesame,especiallygirlswithgoodgrades,whosufferthemost.Evenpreschoolersarethesame,andsuchpraisewillharmthem.Encouragementreferstoencouragementandsupport,andpraisereferstotheprominenceandpublicityofathingorconduct.Encourageisusuallydirectedattheprocessandattitude."Dadseesyoureffortsinthissemesterandisproudofyou!"Thepraiseisusuallyforresultsandresults."Dadseesyourgradesimproveandishappyforyou!"Moreencouragement,lesspraise;moredescriptions,lessevaluation,canavoidchildrenbeingkidnappedbypraise,orcannotaffordtolose,nottoachievethepurpose.
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西山学校

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Address: beside national highway 316, changshan township, jinxian county, nanchang city, jiangxi province
Admissions phone：0791-85607688  
Fax： 0791-85607220
Zip code：331724

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