[Education Research] The problems of Chinese children are basically the problems of parents!

When raising children, principles and rules are very important, but now most Chinese children are raised as pets without rules. Yu Minhong, chairman of New Oriental Education Technology Group, talked about family education, expounding his new proposition on how to "give children global competitiveness".

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When raising children, principles and rules are very important, but now most Chinese children are raised as pets without rules. Yu Minhong, chairman of New Oriental Education Technology Group, talked about family education, expounding his new proposition on how to "give children global competitiveness".
1. I almost got depression
Yu Minhong once said that he inherited his father's generosity and learned the spirit of perseverance and perseverance from his mother. "My parents made me."
Yu Minhong, who came from a rural area and studied at Peking University, was once depressed because of his non-standard Mandarin, poor family and poor image, and "almost got depression". Later, he worked hard to read and slowly overcame his inner demons.
2、Teachers teach, but parents must educate
Yu Minhong firmly believes that the quality of a mother determines a child's life. Using his own example and the educational method of Dr. Jeon Hye-sung, the "Chief Mother of Korea", he suggested that mothers should know how to develop themselves, not only to be able to raise their children, but also to be able to guide them. Create an environment for reading anytime, anywhere, only the scholarly family will emerge outstanding talents.
"South Korea's chief mother" Quan Hye-sung trained all 6 children to become doctorates at Harvard University and Yale University. After graduation, they held important positions such as professor and dean of famous universities and assistant to the White House health secretary.
Dr. Quan Huixing was inspired by the study of ancient Chinese culture. There is a Chinese saying that "Kung Fu is beyond poetry", and when applied to her education method, Kung Fu is beyond "learning". She trained the children to maintain a "zero-mind" state for more than ten minutes. This powerful ability to enter the stillness improves the ability to control the thinking activities of the brain, makes the children highly concentrated when learning, greatly improves the learning efficiency, exerts their intelligence to the extreme, and lays a solid foundation for their future success. Base. Quan Huixing believes that every child is a "special" individual with its own unique elements.
What parents need to do most is to let their children have a strong body, a strong learning ability and a strong desire to become a big man.
With these three points, a child with ordinary talent will also become a successful person.
Couples with good relationships can easily become role models. Open the child's mind. A family, even if it is very poor, as long as there is a kind, thrifty, optimistic and tidy woman taking care of it, such a family is still the sanctuary of the soul and the source of happiness.
3、"Pet-style parenting" affects the growth of Chinese children
Chinese parents do not do a good job of educating their children in terms of principles and rules. "Some parents' education methods are not as good as animals, and they protect their children too well." "Now many children are raised as pets without rules."
No rules, no talent. Unprincipled parents educate unprincipled children and lose their children's respect for them. Children need principles, which gives them the soil to grow. Unprincipled children will often hit a wall, lose their sense of security, and lose their initiative. Principles and rules must be based on correct values, otherwise they will form a confrontation with the public and be rejected. "After principles and rules, there must be room for children to fly. For birds, the rules are not to cut off the wings, but the direction of flight."
4、The Misunderstanding of Encouraging Education: There Should Be Constructive Criticism and Punishment
Nowadays, Chinese parents advocate and encourage education. Encouragement is very important, but encouragement should not fall into misunderstandings. Encouragement is not about not punishing or criticizing children, but with constructive criticism, so that children are not afraid of failures and setbacks.
"Foreign countries encourage the process, but in China we encourage the results." Different ways of encouraging Chinese and foreign education have cultivated different talents.
Chinese primary and secondary school teachers generally praise the top students, and the middle and late students are often not encouraged. In fact, if a student has made great progress from 20 to 40 points, he is rarely praised. , There is a black female teacher in the United States who works as a teacher in a school in a slum area, but her students have entered famous universities in the United States. Everyone is curious about how she did it. She told a story that touched many people.
A student in this black female teacher's class got only two of the 20 math problems right. The female teacher gave him 2 points and drew a smiley face. The student found the teacher and asked if the teacher was insulting him. "Of course I'm not insulting you. If you get two questions right, it's better than failing one. I hope you get four questions right next time, so that I can draw you two smiling faces." The underachiever was encouraged. Later, through hard work, he became the best student in mathematics in the class, and was admitted to a famous American school.
"The most important use of encouragement education is when children are frustrated and failed." Encouragement education is not to cover up children's shortcomings, but to face up to their own shortcomings and work hard. A better way is to encourage children's efforts—a factor they can control for themselves. Encouragement focuses on the process, which is to recognize the efforts of the child, and praise only recognizes the results.
5、2,000 books per Jewish household
Parents should help their children develop good reading habits. "If parents read with their children for half an hour every day from birth to eight years old, after the age of eight, such children will not need parents to worry about their future development."
Many people say that the Chinese and the Jews are smart people, but the Chinese people's good reading habit is gradually lost. What shocked him was that he saw that almost every household of the Jews had a collection of 2,000 books, and the screen when they entered the door was just right. When it is full of books, education is the cultivation of habits. Repetition becomes habit, habit becomes nature, nature becomes personality, personality becomes destiny.
Chinese parents should help their children to build their dreams, not to force their interests. Dreams are the driving force for children's lifelong development, their yearning for the unknown world, and the transcendence of life's limits. The highest scores and famous universities are only the goals to strive for. Start from your child's hobbies and let them make their own decisions and learn what they really love in their hearts. Ability to foresee the future at the expense of immediate pleasure; full of curiosity, enthusiasm, and exploring the unknown.
He advises parents to share "quality time" with their children. When you are with children, give them mood education and temperament education, shape their healthy and happy personality, positive attitude, broad mind and perseverance spirit, open up a broader ideological sky, and let children gain self-mood The ability to educate and cultivate more perfect sustainable people.
6、The nine most important qualities of a child's growth
For Chinese children, the most important thing is to develop nine qualities, namely:
Sincere and noble personality
open-minded personality
Hardworking attitude
Independent and brave spirit
The habit of daring to endure hardship
Not afraid of failure
good communication skills
Generous life
lifelong skills
In the study of children in the United States, there are seven elements of success:
grit fortitude,
social intelligence gregarious,
zest enthusiasm,
gratitude grateful,
optimism optimistic,
"Towards a long-term goal, stick to one's passion, even after failure, still able to persevere in efforts, this quality is called perseverance." Willpower is embodied in the ability to control oneself, and children with self-control ability will be easier in the future. Success.
To be a perfect person, one needs to develop a sense of personal responsibility, family responsibility, social responsibility and historical responsibility. Schools should explore actionable systems of core values. IQ needs to be cultivated, including learning ability, examination ability, research ability; emotional quotient, being trusted, good at sharing, and willing to help others; adversity quotient, anti-strike ability and self-encouragment ability in the face of difficulties, setbacks, failures, etc. Parents do: true love, not coddling; respect, not fear; discipline, not beating and scolding; encouragement, not sarcasm.