Take care of children, focus on the independence and autonomy of the church

Many parents have this kind of confusion: obviously they have worked hard and spent time and energy to manage their children, but the children are always lazy, so parents fall into the vicious circle of "the more you manage, the more lazy your children".
How to properly "manage children"? Let’s listen to what Qian Zhiliang, an education expert and associate professor at Beijing Normal University, has to say
1. Take care of your children, don't overdo it
In real life situations like this often happen:
It is almost late for school in the morning, and the parents are as anxious as ants on a hot pan, but the children still get up slowly and take a shower. Children still go their own way, it can be delayed for a while.
Children's bad habits of being lazy and procrastinating often stem from excessive parental control.
Some parents over-interfere with their children, obviously it is the child's own business, but the parents are more anxious than the child, and have been urging and controlling the child's rhythm.
Interfering with the child too much will make him gradually become dependent. He thinks that his parents will help him if he can't do it well or can't finish it. Over time, he will form a lazy personality.
Some parents are overly protective of their children. When their children try to do something by themselves, they always stop their children by saying, "You are still young, you can't do this kind of thing." Too slow, just do things for the child.
Excessive protection hits the child's enthusiasm for doing things, and the child lacks the opportunity to experience success, and gradually feels that he is useless, poor, and loses self-confidence.
Dependence on parents, afraid to try when faced with difficulties, lack of self-motivation, gradually evolved into a lazy personality.
On the way of growth, the gradual independence of children is an irreplaceable process, and parents cannot overtake them.
2. Take care of the children and tell the method
Many parents may retort, "The child doesn't care, he won't do many things if you don't say it, you can't just let him do whatever he wants."
There is a term in psychology called "exceeding the limit effect", which means that doing one thing exceeds a certain limit, and the result will be counterproductive.
When it comes to taking care of children, instead of constantly intervening, nagging, and urging parents, it is better to formulate good rules for their children and set them up.
Many parents "control" their children into two extremes: either autocratic control or indulgent indulgence.
In fact, the correct "controlling of children" should be within the scope of the rules, giving children full freedom and allowing them to develop their growth potential.
Rules do not deny children's ideas and protect children's opinions, but they also do not allow children to come around in disorder; it not only allows children to enjoy freedom, but also restricts certain behaviors of children.
A child is born with a blank sheet of paper. Parents set rules for him from a young age, and he will understand which behaviors are correct and appropriate and which are not.
Only when children understand the rules can they learn to reflect on whether their behavior is appropriate, and gradually learn to be responsible for themselves, and their initiative will be improved.
3. Take care of children and focus on the independence of the church
Many parents have made the wrong example, dedicating all their time to their children, and everything revolves around them.
Calling him to get up, helping him tidy up his schoolbag, accompany him to read after school, tutoring his homework, and busying himself with the child will only encourage the child's inertia.
Sometimes, when parents are lazy, children are more diligent and proactive.
Parents should not do everything a child can do by himself, and give him the opportunity to manage himself.
When the child's room is messy, remind the child to clean up; encourage the child to wash his own small clothes; let the child take care of some things by himself, such as staying in bed late in the morning, and at the risk of being criticized by the teacher.
Love is never one-size-fits-all, let the child do some things within his ability, and he can learn to be independent and independent in his growth, so that he will not depend on others for everything.
Another positive and effective way for children to be lazy is to give responsibility.
Once a person is given responsibility, he immediately begins to notice the impact of his actions on others and begins to develop self-discipline, and the same goes for children.
In life, parents can occasionally show weakness, ask their children for help, or create opportunities to give their children certain responsibilities.
For example, asking a child to help take care of a potted plant, letting the child help clean up the dishes, etc., will make the child more confident in himself, more affirmative of self-worth, and will naturally work harder.
Therefore, parents must believe in the child's ability, respect the child, and give him a certain time and space to try and explore, and the child's enterprising spirit and enthusiasm will be stimulated unconsciously.
Taking care of children requires the wisdom of parents. Not authoritarian, not arrogant, appropriately lazy, and giving children responsibility, it is easier to teach independent, active and diligent children.